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submitted by Barb Campbell

Vancouver Island Regional Library has scheduled a Strategic Planning meeting for Monday, January 25th from 2 to 4 p.m. at the Tofino Branch on Main Street.
“Vancouver Island Regional Library is embarking on a Strategic Planning process and invites the public to participate and help plan our future by shaping a common vision, direction and goals for the next three years.  Public Consultation sessions are planned in communities throughout the VIRL system, and we invite you to participate.”
Come out and voice your suggestions for the future of our library or fill out a customer survey, available as a form at the library or online: VIRL user survey.

(or Quarter Moon in a Ten Cent Town)
(or Third Door on the Left, Town Hall)

by Dennis Currie

I’ve built a secret outhouse
It’s hidden in my trees, they’re lush
Since I received my Tofino water bill
I’m never going to flush

I’m never going to shave again
Or wash my face or hair
Instead of the white porcelain commode
I’ve got a two holed wooden chair

I’m never going to wash my clothes
Or eat a crab that’s boiled
I knew it would happen some day
Water costs more than sweet crude oil

And yet outside my door it’s pouring
Torrents of water flood Olsen Creek
While over at the Meares Reservoir
It must be 30 feet deep

Cascading over the top of the dam
Ever flowing to the sea
And yet just to brush my teeth
I’d need a dollar fifty three

Now all the rents are going up
I heard the Laundromat is closing down
Soon we’ll all smell and look like hippies
That’s actually good for this hippie town

It’s not called Tough City for nothing
We’re not like those clean folks commuting from Uke
They really should be embarrassed
To live where parking and water are free

No, I’m never going to flush again
I’m going to save lots on soap and shampoo
If you ever care to join my protest
My secret outhouse has seating for two

I tried flushing down with Evian
But the plastic bottles fill our dump
So I thought I’d dig my own well
Install a big old manual pump

But I’d need an $18,000 permit
For any land improvement
So I going to my covert outhouse
For all my future movements

Perhaps my lack of flushing
Won’t bother those in power
I’m warning them when I pay my bill
It’ll be a month since I had a shower

And still the rain is pounding down
Helping my trees grow tall
I guess if I really miss the flush
I could use the toilet at Municipal Hall

But there just might be a bylaw
Against my using their W.C.
And I sure don’t want that bylaw guy
Sniffing around behind my trees

Perhaps some day they’ll change the rate
Though I’ll bet it won’t be soon
But for now I’m slippin’ my rain gear on
Headed for my secret shack with the quarter moon

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